Knock You Down

Lately, I have been feeling less than stellar, things have been getting better each day. I have compiled a list of steps I have kept stored in my mind that have been gradually helping. I'm not going to say I'm fully happy, because I'm not, but I'm not depressed either. Kind of stuck in a weird limbo.

1. Don't tell yourself you've hit rock bottom.
Life happens. One day you may have it all, then the next it comes crashing down. That happened to me. Maybe not so much on a personal life sense, but definitely with the job life. If you tell yourself you've hit rock bottom, then you will never get out from the abyss. I know I have told myself I have hit the bottom, but I've learned to stop saying it, propelling me to move forward.

2. Never think anyone is out to get you.
Sometimes when you do something bad, you think you are being judged almost immediately when you step outside. I thought that for a good chunk of time, and that may have kept me from doing the things I wanted to do. But I pushed myself to get out there and enjoy life at a depressing time. I realized that if my friends judged me for a mistake I have made, then they weren't true friends. I'm happy to say that this didn't happen.

3. It's always the darkest before the dawn.
Generic and cliche phrase, I know, but it is so true. I realize that we are all on the brink of a new season, and truth be told, things change when the seasons change. Summer is on the horizon. I'm not letting myself be down for the duration of the summer. Summer is supposed to be fun, spontaneous, wild, and relaxing. Why spend it moping around and not taking any steps to get better? Things are always at their worst before they get better. "It'll get better." rings true in my ear.

4. A healthy daily routine should be established.
For me, a routine helps me stay on track. When the routine disappears or ends, I'm spun out and lost. When this happens, I feel inadequate and sometimes, worthless. But I am working on a routine that should get me back on the track of life. We all have our rough patches, some more than others, but we eventually get through them. Now, I'm not saying your whole LIFE needs to be on a routine, you need some spontaneity in your life to keep things fresh.

5. Surround yourself with the things you love.
Things that are a constant reminder of happiness is amazing to keep around. Some people keep pictures, some keep notes, hell, some people keep old texts. And that's not even the tip of the iceburg. For me, certain songs and movies bring me back to a place I cannot describe. You put on "Jump" by Van Halen, I'm instantly put in a good mood. If Mean Girls is on the tv, I forget about everything else and laugh my ass off. This all sounds cheesy, I realize, but this step is my secret weapon. If I'm fighting with a friend or just facing daily obstacles, I surround myself with things that take me back to a happier time that eventually turn into peace of mind. This may sound like you're running away from the problem. That's not it at all. This is a matter of taking a break from the problem. We still have to face the problem head on, or it will remain forever. Taking breathers is completely healthy. If you're head is under the water, it is nice to come up for air sometime. :)

Midwest Skies and Sleepless Nights

Sometimes you get knocked off your high horse. It happens to all of us. Things may be going well for months, then boom, you get blindsided. There's a matter of laying there motionless or getting up and trying again. I'm going to give this "getting up and trying again" thing a try.

People make mistakes. Rather it be a simple mistake or a mistake that can alter the rest of your life. I made a mistake. A great mistake. I'm not going to go into detail about that. But I'm not going to dwell on this mistake. I can't allow myself to do so.

The winter months were financially okay. Now, I'm left with little to nothing. It's all about getting out there and realizing what you have to make do with. Sometimes making do with something shitty is the path you have to take if the road you intended to take has a barricade in front of it. This barricade will be there for a while. An annoyance.

Picture yourself taking the same route to work or school for a long time then one day a bridge is out...for a year. You have to find an alternative route. Before you know it, the alternate route becomes the way you're used to. Then one day, the bridge is back in business. Sure, it may be the quicker way to your destination but the alternative route you have been taking becomes, in a sense, part of you. For once, an alternative has become the primary.

This is the way I look at things currently. The barricade may not just be a mistake you have made. It could be a cluster of things: a rocky relationship, fighting with your best friend, family issues, in other words...daily stress. People fuck up. We're aloud to make mistakes. I can't stress that enough. But what happens when you can't get through the road block? You're stuck.

I can't necessarily answer that because for 1) I don't have an answer and 2) Everybody thinks differently. Some deal with problems in different ways. Some get wasted. Some stay optimistic. Some dwell. Some get over it. I can clearly see that I may have failed this test of life, but there's always going to be another test waiting for us to complete. Sometimes we have to fail in order to succeed.

A motto of the British Air Force is "those who risk, win". A single vine sheathe is able to grow through cement. The North American bass beats itself bloody, against the current, in search of sex, of course, but also...

life.

Top 10 Songs of 2010...So Far

10) Possibility - Lykke Li

Coming off the New Moon soundtrack, this song soothes out of the speakers with grace and a haunting piano piece. The New Moon soundtracks offers great songs, but this one song stands alone.

9) Come On - Green River Ordinance

Indie rock is alive and well and GRO is letting it breathe. I have had the joy of seeing these boys in concert and they are beyond amazing and talented. They surely will be sticking around for a long time.

8) Rude Boy - Rihanna

God bless Rihanna and her island roots. I cannot get enough of this song. the island-y based beats and sound are off the hook. Sure to be a summer hit for sure. Is you big enough?

7) Whatya Want From Me - Adam Lambert

I love me some Adam, who wouldn't? He's an amazing singer and sexy as hell. Honestly, didn't care for the song when it first came out, but before I knew it, I couldn't stop listening to it.

6) Resistance - Muse

This is a great rock song. Muse is one of those bands you can put on and gets everyone in a good mood no matter the circumstance, and this song does just that.

5) Death - White Lies

Sounds a bit like Joy Division, with a mixture of The Smiths and a dash of The Killers. I am in complete love with this band and this song. No words can describe it.

4) Brick by Boring Brick - Paramore

Songs that tell stories are inspiring but also intriguing. This song is epic, boasting amazing vocals by Hayley Williams and hard rock instrumentals by the rest of the band. I'll say it once and I'll say it again, but God bless Paramore.

3) Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha

Electropop is alive and well. 'Tik Tok' broke Kesha through, but this song is a pop masterpiece. Equipped with an infectious hook, Kesha's wild antics, and a solid chorus, this song is sure to be remembered for years and years to come without feeling dated.

2) Animal - Neon Trees

If The Killers and Muse had a baby, Neon Trees would be it's bastard child. I love discovering new bands and this band takes the cake. It's one of those cases where I hope this band breaks through to the mainstream but stays indie for my personal enjoyment :)

1) Young Forever - Jay - Z f/ Mr. Hudson

Rare occurrence for me to have a rap song on the list let alone it be number one. But this isn't just a rap song - this song is of epic proportions. Sampling the synth classic "Forever Young" by Alphaville, and getting the Jay-Z makeover with his awesome lyrics, this song bumps out of the speakers and transcends into your soul.

Blind

Have you ever woke up in the morning not feeling like P. Diddy? I can say that with ease because that is exactly how I feel EVERY morning. Not because of the fact that I'm not Ke$ha, but because I feel that my life is completely boring and lifeless and it needs some much needed replenishment.

2010 hasn't been a very good year, to say the least. Sure they have been amazing times but it seems the not-so-good times have overshadowed the good ones. When did everything become a sad love song you almost want to immediately change the dial on the radio?

Sorry for the short blog entry but I don't really have much to say. Hopefully I get a sense of clarity with life. I am grateful for who I have in my life and who are there for me. I'm sorry if I haven't reached out to some lately, that's my fault. I'm blinded by chaos, which hopefully should clear out in the meantime.

The Blair Witch Project

Big budget horror movies can be fun -- with heart-stopping soundtracks, popular lead actors, gory special effects, and well-known directors. However, sometimes you need a break from the mainstream, and watch a good low-budget scary movie. Ironically, The Blair Witch Project is the epitome of low-budget, indepedent cinema that is so frightening and so unpredictable it became a staple in pop culture history.

We all know the story: three aspiring filmmakers go into the woods on a quest to investigate a small town legend -- and never return. I saw this movie when I was eleven years old and has left a huge impression on me ever since. Some people nowadays may find this movie boring and nauseating (due to the continuous shaking of the camera). It may be nauseating, but it is far from boring.

Sometimes less is more and that is what The Blair Witch Project brings to the table. Relying on atmosphere, cheap camera tricks, and almost inaudible laughter from children is surely frightening and sends a chill down your spine. I still cannot go deep into the woods thinking I'm being watched by some malevolent force. Cheesy, but nonetheless terrifying.

The acting in this film was mostly improv and you can see it in the actor's (yes, they were actors, not real people) faces. Most of the time, it works, but sometimes it feels over the top, which may have been the intention, but it can take you out of the picture for a split second. However, I think this movie is a masterpiece in horror cinema. It paved the way for smaller movies (horror or non-horror) to break through to the mainstream. It's not a matter of selling out, it's showing us talent from unknown directors, actors, etc -- the recognition they deserve.

I watch this every now and again just to be freaked out. It's not necessarily in-your-face horror, but psychological which works on so many levels. Recommended viewing late at night with some buddies or on your own if you really want to be on edge. The final scene is still one of the most shocking and horrifying scenes I've seen in horror. If you get too freaked out, just stay out of the woods :)

4.5 stars out of 5

Rob Zombie's Halloween

Trashy characters, buckets of gore, Rob Zombie? When you think these three elements you don't really think classic horror. John Carpenter's legendary Halloween set the foundation for new age horror films and is incomparable to this farce. However, I did enjoy this movie despite it's many, many flaws.

Rob Zombie takes this classic story to epic levels -- in all the wrong ways. Adding a trailer park backstory and many one-dimensional characters. From what I have learned, if you absolutely adored the original (like myself, and millions of others), you will hate this film. If you are among the new generation who love nothing but gore and tits, you will probably love this one. You cannot replicate great art, instead you make it your own, and I think this is why I am split on this movie. Rob Zombie's eye for detail and atmosphere, I believe, is genius, however, his vision doesn't belong in the Michael Myers world.

The movie, though, is cleverly split into three acts. The fist act consisting of Michael Myers' childhood and how he became the legendary slasher villain he is today. Zombie's wife Sheri Moon Zombie plays Mikey's mom, who isn't a very good actress but made the part believable (also, was nice to see her in a more conventional role than what we saw her in The Devils Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses). The first act, however, is a fine mess. It would have been more creepier if Mike came from a nice, suburban family rather than a redneck one. I don't know about you, but Mike coming from an already hostile family shatters his creepy mythos. Zombie throws us into an unknown timeline, which looks like the 70's (with music to convince us it is the 70's) but is never officially stated which makes the movie more jarring (in a good, but also bad way).

The second act takes us to Mike in the asylum and we are introduced to his doctor, The Van Helsing-esque Dr. Loomis (played brilliantly but oddly by Malcolm McDowell). We see numerous deaths, awkward dialouge, and a suicide scene (one of the better scenes of the movie). Now, what Zombie does to Myers was probably the biggest mistake in the movie -- making him mammoth. What was so frightening about the original was that Myers looked like your average joe (which is scarier to me by far) but Zombie threw that out the window and turned Myers into a seven foot Jason-like monster -- which, is why I could see this might work but it just doesn't.

The third act is a brash recycling of the original just taking the 90 minute masterpiece rushed into about 45 minutes. The characters we all loved are turned into annoying, dumb teenagers and our heroine, Laurie Strode, is someone the audience would never care about. The atmosphere from the original is gone and even though the remake is thoroughly entertaining, we are not on edge at all. Although it was nice to see Danielle Harris (little Jamie from Halloween 4 and 5) back running from Michael Myers.

I did enjoy this movie despite some harsh words. Zombie did take this story to a whole 'nother level. The production design was unbelievable and the music was spot on. The biggest flaw of this movie is the screenplay. Zombie may be an adequate director but he is a horrible dialouge writer. Some of the dialouge in this movie was outrageous and ridiculous, even laughable. I'm not a hater of profanity, but seriously do we need to hear "fuck" ever other word?

Despite it's flaws, I do own this movie and will pop it in if I'm ever bored and it is interesting to see how such a simple story is transformed or "Zombie"fied, if you will. This is an awesome movie to watch with friends and I recommend watching it once autumn rolls around, but never forget what inspired this movie -- the original. I'm sure no one will.

2 stars out of 5

Jennifer's Body

Sometimes, comedy and horror blend extraordinarily well. Look what happened to Scream. Jennifer's Body is one of the few exceptions where this concept works. Witty humor and surprisingly well-acted performances coincide to make this movie a fun, Friday night treat.

Penned by the Oscar winning Diablo Cody (Juno), the movie's premise is rather tricky. Here, we have the beautiful and unattainable Jennifer (Megan Fox) and her nerdy, but cute best friend Needy (an amazing Amanda Seyfried). These two are the definition of an odd couple. Jennifer is sexy, sleek, and well, pretty dumb while Needy is her contradictive counterpart. Needy is always watching over Jennifer, suspecting if she doesn't look before she leaps, she will get in trouble. And that's exactly what happens.

Jennifer and Needy attend a local concert at a scummy bar to see fresh indie rock band Low Shoulder, fronted by sexy, but douchey Nikolai (The OC's Adam Brody) who is, go figure, attracted to Jennifer (who wouldn't, right?). Things take a turn for the worse when the bar is burnt to the ground by an unexpected fire. Jennifer, Needy, and the band escape unscathed. But Jennifer is willed into the band's van and disappears from Needy's view. The movie takes a weird and rocky turn when Jennifer returns to Needy bloody and beaten up and, well, not her - vomiting up something that looks like "roadkill and sewing needles". Jennifer's beauty remains but starts feasting on some of the boys at the high school. What happened to her when she stepped into that van? Watch the movie and find out. :)

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie after a second viewing. The movie did not fair well with critics or audiences but that is to be expected. This movie, despite the awesome soundtrack and popular leads, was not meant for mainstream audiences. I believe this film will be a cult fave in a few years. I am also not a fan of Megan Fox, after her...lackluster acting skills in the Transformer movies, but I did enjoy her in this and believe she could be a good comedic actress. The saving grace of this film belongs to the adorable Amanda Seyfried - I absolutely loved her in this. She was so cute and believable and ultimately, frightening (in later scenes). The movie also boasts an amazing soundtrack featuring Panic at the Disco, White Lies, Black Kids, and the film's own band, Low Shoulder with their catchy "Through the Trees". If you don't like Megan Fox, I would still rent this little gem and be prepared to have a good time if you enjoy Diablo Cody's strange but hilarious dialouge, throw backs to classic horror movies, and innocent indie rock.

3.5 stars out of 5